An open letter to Sid the Kid


Mr. Sidney Crosby
c/o CAA Sports
2000 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Dear Mr. Crosby,

This isn’t a letter about hockey. It’s about drinking.

My name is Ben Johnson and while you could classify this letter as “fan mail,” I must admit that I’m not technically a fan. I am, and have been since birth, a Detroit Red Wings fan and so, as I’m sure you can imagine, regardless of your talents, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever find myself rooting for you or your team (the exception being those times you don a team Canada jersey to represent our country).

I can, however, appreciate that you are a talented and physically impressive athlete. That is, I have seen you do things I find impressive–notably, during a Reebok commercial when I watched you do push-ups with one of your hands on a medicine ball, then push yourself up into the air and switch the medicine ball to the other hand as you came back down to repeat the task. Continue reading “An open letter to Sid the Kid”