Never mind Oktoberfest, here’s Craftoberfest

When I was in university, I travelled to Kitchener to attend the annual Oktoberfest event there, and it was nothing short of terrible.

The pilgrimage to the K-W included sleeping on the floor of a frat boy friend of a friend and it coincided with a lamentable period of my youth that all men seem to go through where we find it humourous to hit each other as hard as possible in the balls. While my group of friends always had a gentleman’s rule that these shots were permissible only when administered open-handed, the agreement was not enough to prevent my two best friends from nearly fighting each other in the middle of a polka-filled hall of dirndl- and lederhosen-bedecked revellers that evening.

Accordingly, I will likely forever associate my experience at Oktoberfest with a terrible night of drinking and the anxiety of perpetually fearing blunt force trauma to my penis and testicles. And while the organizers aren’t responsible for me associating Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest with being hit in the balls, it seems to me an apt metaphor for the annual event. Continue reading “Never mind Oktoberfest, here’s Craftoberfest”

Haiku reviews: Wanderoot Craft Cider

Haiku reviews is a feature wherein I invoke the brief and impressionistic style of poetry to devote exactly 17 syllables to reviewing a beer.

 

Wanderoot Craft Cider
threatening, bees circle
over-ripe fallen apples
smooshing underfoot

What they have to say: “We take our time crafting this great-tasting cider—so you can take your time savouring its full, complex flavours. Classic Apple offers plenty of freshly peeled apple skin off the top, with bright, ripe apple notes in the background. The full fruit flavour is complemented by a pleasant crispness that creates the perfect balance of sweet and dry, mellow and tart. The natural carbonation clears the palate and gets you ready for the next sip on your journey. The result is a lively, refreshing cider—one that’s full of flavour and far from ordinary.”

Where you can get it: Available in select markets.

Want to send me a beer for the haiku review treatment? Drop me a line.