A version of this post first appeared in the pages of the December 2018 edition of Original Gravity magazine.
It’s a conundrum as old as breeding: The weekend arrives and all you want to do is drink beer, but you’re a parent, so you have responsibilities.
If, like me, you too have procreated, intentionally or otherwise, you will know the debate well. Saturday rolls around and you have to weigh the benefits of your child having an active and healthy social life against your own perfectly reasonably desire to do nothing more than spend the day casually sipping beer in your backyard.
I would argue, however, that the two options are not mutually exclusive: You can and should drink at functions geared to children.
I would even argue that one demands the other. Anyone having spent an afternoon in close proximity to a dozen children re-enacting Lord of the Flies can attest to not only the propriety but, indeed, the necessity of having alcohol on hand.
In fact, I feel fairly confident that drinking alcohol was likely invented by a parent facing a birthday party. I can picture the first Aztec, about to watch kids play pin-the-tail-on-the-sun-god and jumping around an inflatable bouncy pyramid, compelled to drink something he or she had let ferment in hopes it might take the edge off.
Of course, not everyone feels this way. Continue reading “How to drink at kids’ parties”
For roughly the last four months, I have been the primary caregiver for my two year old son.
Yes, I’m a stay at home dad.
The experience has taught me a lot of things. It’s been an absolutely amazing experience to share the summer with my son and each day brings new joy as I get to see the world through his eyes and blah blah blah.
Yes, yes, all that.
But it’s also taught me some really useful things too: namely, that beer is a really important part of parenting.
Seriously. I’ve learned to appreciate beer on a whole other level.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not drinking all day or parenting my son under the influence. I still (usually) wait until around 5pm to crack a beer–I’m not a savage–but when I do, it often tastes far, far better than any beer I ever knew as a childless, amateur beer drinker. Because now almost always, more so than ever before, when I DO crack that beer, god damn it, I have earned that beer.
Accordingly, I’ve also learned that there are some beers that are just far better suited to helping you unwind at the end of certain days than others are. That is, there are without question certain trying circumstances that demand a beer at the close of the day, but I’ve found there are actually certain circumstances that lend themselves better to being remedied by specific beers.
As a public service, here are the perfect beer pairings to deal with six common toddler behaviours. Continue reading “Six beer pairings for dealing with toddler behaviour”