There is no beer for Valentine’s Day

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There is no “appropriate” beer for today.

In fact, you don’t have to shoehorn beer into every occasion and you don’t need to make beer relevant to whatever holiday/event/celebration might be occurring on any given day.

Perhaps today, on Valentine’s Day, that’s all the more clear.

Sorry, but beer and Valentine’s day don’t really go together; as much as a large swath of marketing people, beer writers, editors, brewers, etc. might want you to believe it.

Beer isn’t really romantic.

Beer is comforting, yes. Beer is delicious, obviously. Sharing a beer with a loved one can be a great experience. But beer sexy? No. Sorry, it’s just not.  Continue reading “There is no beer for Valentine’s Day”

Drifting into the argument like wild yeast…

Opinions in Ontario brewing are a lot like assholes and IPAs: These days, everyone has one.

There seems to be a lot of beer writing occurring as of late on the subject of beer writing itself—so I thought I too would jump on the masturbatory, navel-gazing bandwagon and offer my two cents and pretend that this little space I’ve carved out on the internets has any sort of influence at all.

The “conversation” largely began on the prolific and insightful “A Good Beer Blog.” Author Alan McLeod had offered up his opinion (as beer writers are wont to do) on an interesting little project being conducted by a co-operative of Ontario brewers who, in a nutshell, are attempting to brew beer adhering to ancient Belgian techniques that will, hopefully, see the beer fermented by wild indigenous yeasts the Brewers are hoping will drift into the open brewing vessels.

This is a broadly simplified explanation, and many other media outlets have done a much more detailed job, so feel free to seek them out if you want more information on the project (though be forewarned, none of them seem to answer my first question about the whole process, namely, won’t birds poop in the beer?!). Continue reading “Drifting into the argument like wild yeast…”

When drinking local becomes a problem: Locarexia Nervoso

I have a problem.

I didn’t realize it was a problem until quite recently but a couple events have made it quite clear that it’s real and it’s something I need to deal with.

The first time I knew I had a problem was following a softball game. My team, comprising a number of work colleagues, opted to hit a bar in order to drown our sorrows following a 20-10 routing and, since it was the nearest bar to the diamond, we had the unfortunate experience of visiting The Dog’s Bollocks on Queen.

Now, to be clear, I don’t really mean to slag The Dog’s Bollocks–I recognize that it is a pub and that its most endearing qualities are intended to be its cheap draft, bar food, and numerous TV screens.

I’m no dummy. I wouldn’t expect gourmet from an establishment named after an animal’s nut sack. But my experience was not great–and it’s largely due to my psychological issue. Continue reading “When drinking local becomes a problem: Locarexia Nervoso”

Please Stop Saying Mouthfeel

Dear Beer Writers,

Please stop saying “mouthfeel.”

Sincerely,

Me

Look, I know “mouthfeel” is a real thing, but let’s just all agree to…stop saying it.

OK?

Let’s let it die.

For the uninitiated, “mouthfeel” is an actual concept used to convey the sensation that food or drinks leave in your mouth and it’s something that’s noted by food, wine, and beer connoisseurs.

It’s not actually a made up douchey, pseudo-concept, as much as it sounds like one, but an honest-to-goodness thing, as is evidenced by it’s inclusion in the dictionary.

mouth·feel

[mouth-feel]

noun
the tactile sensation a food gives to the mouth: a creamy mouthfeel.

See?

But let’s be honest, it’s just a fucking awful word.

Continue reading “Please Stop Saying Mouthfeel”