Beer and Loathing in Portland

Posted on by Ben

IMG_1666

As I write this, I am 30,000 feet in the air, screaming toward America’s west coast for what will surely be a week of the sort of debauchery you regret for about a week following, but reminisce fondly about for years thereafter.

I’m heading to the annual Craft Brewers Conference, this year being held in Portland, Oregon; a place with more craft breweries per capita than any other place in the world.

So yes, there will be beer.

Of course, the trip won’t be without its problems, the most notable of which being that somehow in the weeks prior to the journey, I have slipped inexplicably deep into overdraft in my bank account. While it was likely a compendium of too many shawarma lunches, afternoon coffees, and liquor store runs that had sent me irreparably on the course to minor debt, it was surely the gear I assembled prior to my journey that really did me in. Continue reading “Beer and Loathing in Portland” →

CONTEST: Win two tickets to Shakesbeer

Posted on by Ben

Studio Session - 001 Brought to you by Classical Theatre Project, Shakesbeer will transform Artscape Wychwood Barns into a pop-up theatre and beer hall for the “The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged)” on April 18, 2015, and Ben’s Beer Blog is giving away a pair of tickets to one lucky reader. 

And oh yeah, as the name might suggest “Shakesbeer” is  not only an evening of theatre focused on the Bard, it’s also a chance to take in said theatre with your favourite beverage in hand. 

Along with classy theatre, the event will feature a beer line up from Publican House, Junction Craft Brewery, Wellington, and Steamwhistle, as well as cider from Brickworks Ciderhouse.

 In keeping with traditional Shakespearean fare, there will also be…Australian meat pies (just go with it). To enter for a chance to win two tickets to either the 6:30pm performance or the 9:00pm performance, simply comment below and leave a Shakespeare quote that you’ve modified to include beer. 

I’ll place all entrants in a hat and choose a winner on Monday April 13th. As always, entries that I like the most will be entered into the hat twice as will entries from those who share a link to this contest on twitter. 

If you don’t win, fear not, you can of course still attend and Ben’s Beer Blog readers can receive a special discounted price. Simply use the promo code brew39, and receive $10 off your tickets. Good luck!

  •  If you write “To beer or not to beer” I’ll make sure you don’t win. Come on. You’re better than that. 
  • In case you were wondering, the tights wearing fellows in the lead image are actors Matt Drappel, Jeff Hanson and Kevin Ritchie.
  • Also in case you wondering, I received zero financial compensation for this contest, I just thought it sounded like a fun event in my neighbourhood and decided to help out.

Beer goes in your mouth

Posted on by Ben

Hamsterdam

In honour of April Fool’s day today, Jason Fisher, the perennial shit-disturbing owner of Toronto’s Indie Alehouse released a couple of videos staring a handful of Second City alumni regular customers taking shots at some of the more absurd, ridicule-worthy elements of the province’s beer scene.

I particularly enjoyed this video that takes aim squarely at the province’s growing number of Certified Cicerones, Prud’homme beer sommeliers, and know-it-all beer bloggers (ahem) who might consider themselves beer experts.

Let’s be honest, this is hilarious (“Rope?”). And it’s a welcome reminder that maybe we all take beer a little too seriously sometimes.

Well done, Jason. Also fuck you!

Click here for Indie’s other video about their beer store. 

The Ontario Craft Brewers would like their own stores, please

Posted on by Ben

FullSizeRender

“Though this be madness,
yet there is method in’t”

Last night I attended the 10th annual Ontario Craft Brewers (OCB) tasting event at the Ontario legislature.

It’s an event hosted by the Speaker of The House wherein the OCB, a 50+ member group that is currently the only organization advocating on behalf of the province’s small brewers, is welcomed into the Ontario Legislative Building to pour their beers for myriad MPPs and (mostly) their thirsty, bespectacled, pointy-shoed staffers.

I have attended in previous years and wrote about last year’s event in less than flattering terms as a missed opportunity in my opinion given a climate in Ontario that seemed destined for real change to the beer scene.

This year, even more than last, the event seemed rife with potential for some grand statement: the premier of Ontario has made a few opening but vague salvos relating to reforming the province’s beer scene and speculation grows about what might be in the upcoming budget for people who buy and make craft beer–including rumours recently reported by The Toronto Star’s Martin Regg Cohn that we can expect beer in grocery stores soon.

This year, I thought, someone might say something bold that electrifies the crowd.

And I was right.

Sort of. Continue reading “The Ontario Craft Brewers would like their own stores, please” →

Budweiser is now officially marketing to people who already drink Budweiser

Posted on by Ben

IMG_1313
Yesterday, Budweiser released the commercial below. In it, the marketing giant who also happens to sell beer successfully continues their new advertising strategy, which is seemingly an effort to troll hipsters; a strategy that they unofficially launched with their now infamous Super Bowl ad that featured bearded scenesters sniffing mutli-coloured beer flights in small glasses and positioning them as diametrically opposed to people who drink “real beer” “made the hard way.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1JQfuS1KgE&feature=youtu.be

This new ad is aimed once again squarely at the hipster set (whom they identify without ever saying the word hipster, only by stating their setting: Brooklyn, a word that probably serves pretty handily as a short hand signifier of “all things pretentious and effeminate” to any macro-drinking, flag waving, fly-over-state-dwelling “real person”). In it, they set up a fake bar, put an actor into some hipster clothing (i.e. plaid), and have said pseudo-cool-guy serve unwitting hipsters some ice cold Budweiser.

The stage is set for an epic burn!

But does it work? I don’t think so.

Presumably the folks at the ad agency Budweiser hired to make this farce will think this campaign is a success owing to what I imagine will be high numbers in the only currency that matters these days, traffic, but it’s hard to view this ad with anything close to a critical eye and not see it as a failure, for a couple reasons. Continue reading “Budweiser is now officially marketing to people who already drink Budweiser” →

80 alternatives to Guinness to drink this St. Patrick’s Day

Posted on by Ben

IMG_8059

Guinness is a pretty great beer.

It’s got a long storied history dating back to roughly 1770, is arguably one of the most famous beer brands in the entire world, and will forever be the stout against which all other stouts are measured.

It also tastes good. I enjoy an occasional Guinness and you’ll likely find that, if you’re with a fan of good beer but trapped in some shitty bar where the tap lines are all purchased by breweries, that beer fan will likely just order a Guinness because, among the other ubiquitous big names, it’s generally the one consistently reliable and decent beer that’s available virtually everywhere and, provided the beer is fresh and the lines are clean, is an interesting, comforting, rich, and creamy stout.

But come every god damn March, I come to hate Guinness. I detest the idea that we’re supposed to drink more of the black stuff–which already sells in excess of 850 million litres a year–in order to commemorate the death of Ireland’s patron saint. There is so much Guinness marketing crammed down our throats in the lead-up to March 17th every year that it’s enough to make you rage vomit bile so thick and creamy as to rival the famous dry stout itself.

So this St. Patrick’s day, I say fuck Guinness.

The notion that we have to drink a certain thing on a certain day just because a huge marketing campaign tells us we have to is bullshit, man *flips collar on leather jacket, lights cigarette*

If you must go out and drink or otherwise celebrate the arrival of Christianity in Ireland or mark the occasion of the lifting of Lenten restrictions you almost certainly don’t actually follow, why not drink something else? Continue reading “80 alternatives to Guinness to drink this St. Patrick’s Day” →

Come enjoy beer, bourbon, and smoked meat (with me!)

Posted on by Ben

unnamed
A few months ago, I had an opportunity to host an event organized by the folks at Orchestra Marketing that combines the typically forced act of “networking” with the slightly more enjoyable act of drinking beer.

Dubbed “beerworking” the event was an exercise in learning a little about beer while meeting new people and has since blossomed into a popular ongoing series of get-togethers hosted by knowledgeable fellow beer scribe, Crystal Luxmore, for whom I was substituting when I last hosted.

Thankfully for me, Ms. Luxmore again finds herself otherwise engaged for an upcoming event and I’ve been asked to fill in.

Also thankfully for me, this event, taking place on Thursday March 12, from 6:30pm – 9:30pm  has evolved to include not just craft beer, but also bourbon and smoked meat. No really. It’s like they’ve taken a page from my dream journal. All that’s missing is 90s era Tiffany Amber Thiessen.

The event will feature beer from Sudbury craft brewery Stack Brewing who, rumour has it, are gearing up for broader distribution of their heretofore relatively unknown beers, so you’ll have a chance to try a few beers you probably haven’t had before.

We’ll also be enjoying a selection of bourbons from the portfolio of Kirkwood Diamond Canada, including Buffalo Trace and Eagle Rare and I’ll make some effort to explain why beer and bourbon go well together (aside from the answer my grandpappy always gave that “you got two hands for a reason!”).

Lastly, because all this good drinkin’ will surely work up a hunger, we’ll be enjoying a selection of cured meats from none other that Toronto’s Caplansky’s.

I know, I know. At this point you’re probably already saying “Just shut up and take my money,” so here’s the link to get tickets. 

It’s just $50 a person which, considering you’re getting three beers, three bourbons, and three different sandwiches, is a hell of a deal (even if the experience will be marred slightly by having to listen to me pretend I know what I’m talking about).

If you bring a friend you can get a pair of tickets for $90, but considering the event is designed to meet new people, rolling solo is obviously cool, too.

See you there! I’ll be the guy covered in mustard.

What the hell is Crazy Beard?

Posted on by Ben

crazy beard

You may have seen the above-pictured monstrosity on the shelves along with the cider in your local LCBO lately.

It’s “Wild Apple Ale” from Crazy Beard and even though the product is called Crazy Beard “Wild Apple Ale” it lives in the cider section since it isn’t actually a beer. I’m not even sure it would meet strict definitions of cider, but presumably the company is so “Wild to the Core!” they just don’t care about conventional things like “accurately labeling a beverage.”

I have seen the atrocious can on shelves before and while it offended me in a way that only a snotty beer and beverage purist can be offended, I put it off as simply something that doesn’t interest me. Life is too short to rage at all the overly-sweet alcoholic beverages that don’t meet with my approval. However, as it turns out, in addition to the label being questionable from a design standpoint, it seems the can wrap isn’t really the highest quality material either. I was alerted to this fact by an intrepid reader who sent me the picture below this afternoon.

crazy beard 2

Yes, it appears that Crazy Beard Wild Apple Ale’s label is hiding something of a surprise under all that wacky design. As my anonymous tipster speculated, this “Apple Ale” might actually just be William Premium Canadian Cider–or at the very least, is sold in William Cider cans. Continue reading “What the hell is Crazy Beard?” →

Where is your beer brewed?

Posted on by Ben

cool

In the craft beer world, opinions about the merits of contract brewing are pretty varied.

Without wading into the debate (again), I do want to discuss one thing that I think virtually everyone takes a disliking too, and that’s when a contract brewer or brewing company attempts to be dishonest about where it is that their beer is  actually made.

Frankly, I don’t know why people think it benefits them to claim they own an actual brewery when they don’t (whether they claim this explicitly or implicitly), but there is a trend as of late for some “brewers” to be shady about where it is that their malt actually meets water before they slap a label on the beer and try to sell it to the world. Most brewing companies are, of course, happy to tell you where their beer is made (I asked a lot of them for this article and they answered me), but there are still some that are less-than-forthcoming about it. Given that I’m a big proponent of transparency when it comes to the brewing, production, and marketing of beer in this province, I thought I’d add simply a little more clarity to the issue today. Continue reading “Where is your beer brewed?” →

Are the Blue Jays breaking the law by not offering better beer selection?

Posted on by Ben

unnamed

The Toronto Blue Jays are the only team in Major League baseball that doesn’t offer local beer at their baseball games.

Obviously, this sucks.

People who like baseball often also like beer. People who like to go support their local baseball team might conceivably also like to support their local breweries.

The Toronto Blue Jays organization apparently doesn’t give a shit about these people. Instead, they are happy to award exclusivity to the foreign-owned entity that was willing to cough up the biggest chunk of dough for the right to be the only beer sold at the Rogers Centre (if you’re still not sure who exactly I’m talking about, look no further than that glaring Budweiser logo that adorns most of the Toronto Blue Jays’ left field).

There was of course a glimmer of hope recently in March of 2013 when I broke the news that Steamwhistle–the folks making baseball-ready pilsner literally across the street from the Jays–would finally be allowed to sell their beer at the Rogers Centre.

Of course, being able to drink Toronto beer at a Toronto baseball game was short lived and almost exactly one year later, conceivably because the folks at AB InBev had had enough “competition,” I was breaking the news that the Good Beer Folks had been unceremoniously given the boot.

There’s been some rumbling in the interim–notably a petition created by Phil Cacace, the owner of the great Toronto bar, Tall Boys, some scant media coverage, and at least one perennially-irascible Toronto beer writer who has made a point of raising the issue on twitter every once and a while but, for the most part, we’re all pretty much resigned to accepting watery lager to drink while we take in live games of Toronto’s generally watered-down version of professional baseball. Continue reading “Are the Blue Jays breaking the law by not offering better beer selection?” →