An open letter to Sid the Kid

Posted on by Ben

sidney

Mr. Sidney Crosby
c/o CAA Sports
2000 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Dear Mr. Crosby,

This isn’t a letter about hockey. It’s about drinking.

My name is Ben Johnson and while you could classify this letter as “fan mail,” I must admit that I’m not technically a fan. I am, and have been since birth, a Detroit Red Wings fan and so, as I’m sure you can imagine, regardless of your talents, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever find myself rooting for you or your team (the exception being those times you don a team Canada jersey to represent our country).

I can, however, appreciate that you are a talented and physically impressive athlete. That is, I have seen you do things I find impressive–notably, during a Reebok commercial when I watched you do push-ups with one of your hands on a medicine ball, then push yourself up into the air and switch the medicine ball to the other hand as you came back down to repeat the task. Continue reading “An open letter to Sid the Kid” →

A quick review: Hop City Big Mouth Pale Ale

Posted on by Ben

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You might have had this beer in its previous incarnation when it was “Happy Hour Pale Ale,” but about three months ago it got rebranded as Big Mouth Pale Ale. I never bothered to try it as Happy Hour and I just happened to pick one up at the LCBO last week.

In short, this beer rates a “meh.”

When I poured it, I noted that it had nice carbonation and a decent foamy head, and I also noted with some excitement that there was a notable citrusy hop aroma owing to the inclusion of cascade hops and UK Kent Golding hops. Continue reading “A quick review: Hop City Big Mouth Pale Ale” →

Win free admission to Beer 4 Boobs!

Posted on by Ben


beer4boobs

It’s not often that you can justify your drinking by claiming that it’s for charity, but on Sunday April 7th, you’ll be able to do just that at the second annual “Beer 4 Boobs,” a unique event bringing a group of passionate local brewers together to help fight breast cancer.

As with last year, the event will feature an ample selection of specialty and one-off beers brewed especially for the occasion. Unlike last year, however, this year’s festivities have expanded to included not one but two evenings in two different cities so as to better showcase the selection of beer offerings from the likes of Amsterdam Brewing Co., Black Oak, Mill Street, Oast House, Railway City, Beyond the Pale, Camerons, Niagara College, The Ship, Grand River, Bellwoods, Silversmith, Trafalgar, Indie Ale House, Cheshire Valley, Granite and more. Continue reading “Win free admission to Beer 4 Boobs!” →

I don’t need labels that tell me my drink is cold

Posted on by Ben

Iceberg

I received a press release the other day from a Canadian vodka company that recently updated their brand. In addition to a snazzy new website and new bottle shape, the press release informed me that the vodka company opted to include a new area on their label that changes colours when the vodka reaches optimal drinking temperature.

Now, I don’t have anything bad to say about the vodka–it’s actually a good, smooth, well-priced, Canadian vodka–but this sort of superfluous branding gimmick irks me.

It’s a strategy that was probably first and definitely most famously embraced by Molson-Coors when they opted to include colour-changing mountains on their beer bottle labels in 2007 (which were joined by “cold activated cans” in 2009). They ushered a new era of branding into an industry already awash with cheesy branding and arguably invented a new temperature by coining the term “rocky mountain cold.”

Now regardless of what some beer snobs might say, there is of course a time and a place for a really cold and easy to drink beer; post baseball game or following some strenuous yard work it’s hard to advocate downing a 16 degree Celsius snifter of Chimay Grand Reserve. One likely opts for something cold in these situations, whether it be rocky mountain cold, Rubbermaid cooler cold, or just plain garage fridge cold. However, choosing to market your beer on the merit of its cold temperature and the beer’s ability to let you know when it has reached that temperature is just plain stupid.  Continue reading “I don’t need labels that tell me my drink is cold” →

How to lose my business at your restaurant

Posted on by Ben

Spilled Glass

I’ll have you know, despite my tendency to use the word “fuck” and my inclinations toward beer as opposed to tea or sherry or whatever it is that fancy people are supposed to drink, I’m something of fan of fine dining.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself a “foodie,” but that’s mainly because I hate that word and feel that in its present state of overuse it’s come to mean anyone who puts edible items in or near their suckholes.

Nevertheless, I enjoy an elaborate evening of dining and whereas it seems to be fashionable these days to slam the sort of pretentious restaurants that might be so bold as to suggest that eating with them is an “experience,” this is in fact exactly the sort of thing I go for when I’m out for a nice meal.

I like to hear about the rotating cocktail menu, I like knowing where the produce on hand was grown, and yes, if you’ve got it handy, I will read the credit report of the cow whom I’m about to eat a chunk of between two buns, thanks. Continue reading “How to lose my business at your restaurant” →

Left Field Brewery: So how’s the beer?

Posted on by Ben

LFB

Yesterday on blogTO I wrote about the city’s newest craft brewery, Left Field Brewery. The piece was mainly an interview with the company’s founders, Mark and his wife Mandie. It originally included some supplemental tasting notes on the sample beer they were nice enough to bring me but, due to the length of the piece, that stuff got cut.

I don’t have a ton to say that wasn’t covered over on blogTO, but their beer was tasty and some of the more negative comments on blogTO (shocking!) were along the lines of “Well what does their beer taste like?” so I thought it was worth a post here, too.

In short: It’s good. Continue reading “Left Field Brewery: So how’s the beer?” →

Alexander Keith’s Hop Series Ales

Posted on by Ben

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For someone who loves hops, Alexander Ketih’s, with its proud pronouncement that it is an “IPA,” is at best misleading and at worst, irritating.

Like most lovers of hoppy beer, I find the moniker “IPA” here vaguely annoying and I’ve personally witnessed it serve as a point of confusion to fans of actual IPAs who’ve never heard of Keith’s; often leading to potentially dangerous consequences.  To illustrate my point, here is a  dramatic representation of actual exchanges I have witnessed in bars:

INT. BAR – NIGHT
An American walks into a quiet CANADIAN bar and takes off his oversized cowboy hat as he approaches the taps. Continue reading “Alexander Keith’s Hop Series Ales” →

It’s time for a Great Lakes Brewery LCBO release for Karma Citra

Posted on by Ben

If there’s one thing that this city’s beer fans can likely agree on, it is this: Mike Lackey brews some damn good beer.

Having been with Great Lakes Brewery for over 20 years now, the guy knows a thing or two about craft beer and, with his recent releases it seems that he is only getting better with age. It’s almost like his power to brew phenomenal beer emanates from his beard and the longer that thing gets the better his beer gets.

I haven’t done the research, but I bet the day he shaves that thing off would be the day he walks in to Peter Bulut Jr.’s office and proposes brewing a low carb lager. Continue reading “It’s time for a Great Lakes Brewery LCBO release for Karma Citra” →

The People vs. blogTO vs. The Only: On the nature of beer blogging

Posted on by Ben

typo

Earlier today, blogTO, the place where my weekly beer-related posts find their home, posted an article about The Only Cafe, noting that “the Danforth could be about to get its first big swig of micro-brewed ale if The Only Cafe’s latest expansion plans come to fruition.”

Shortly thereafter, a few beer bloggers responded on twitter, upset at the speculative language in the article–you’ll note that the article’s writer Chris Bateman sticks to “coulds” and “mights” and notes that nothing is set in stone because well, nothing is set in stone. They were also upset that blogTO appears to have broken the story before The Only was ready to go public with the news.

Now before I get into it, I want to note a few things: First, I didn’t write this article, I had no knowledge of it, and only found out about The Only’s plans when I read this article myself. (I actually wrote another fan-fucking-tastic article about the Junction for blogTO today that largely seems to have gone unnoticed–but I’m not bitter). Continue reading “The People vs. blogTO vs. The Only: On the nature of beer blogging” →

There is no beer for Valentine’s Day

Posted on by Ben

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There is no “appropriate” beer for today.

In fact, you don’t have to shoehorn beer into every occasion and you don’t need to make beer relevant to whatever holiday/event/celebration might be occurring on any given day.

Perhaps today, on Valentine’s Day, that’s all the more clear.

Sorry, but beer and Valentine’s day don’t really go together; as much as a large swath of marketing people, beer writers, editors, brewers, etc. might want you to believe it.

Beer isn’t really romantic.

Beer is comforting, yes. Beer is delicious, obviously. Sharing a beer with a loved one can be a great experience. But beer sexy? No. Sorry, it’s just not.  Continue reading “There is no beer for Valentine’s Day” →